


Reaching an Understanding

by Cranberrytaboo



Category: Half-Life VR but the AI is Self-Aware - Fandom
Genre: Character death but not actually, Fake Character Death, Gen, IDK if this counts as Hurt/Comfort LMFAO, Mentions of Gordon Bubby and Coomer but they don't really show up much, Visions of death, i guess, kind of au i guess, since they act more like characters than ai
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:13:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25784956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cranberrytaboo/pseuds/Cranberrytaboo
Summary: Tommy confronts Benrey after the final boss battle with questions regarding intent and desires. Now is the time for a heart-to-heart.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	Reaching an Understanding

About a week after the “big showdown,” everyone was still coming down from the effects, in their own way.

The birthday party, of course, was fun, and had been a welcome respite given the trials that the Science Team had undergone, but having come up on the heels of a grueling and hard-fought battle in the reaches of a place far removed from human understanding, the festivities had barely taken the edge off from the buzzing, reeling exhaustion each of them felt. Thus, each member of the team had to find some way to come to terms with their own feelings on what had happened.

Gordon’s response, predictably, had been an attempt to return to normalcy, ever quick to flee to the familiar, distracting himself with work and taking care of his son. Dr. Coomer made efforts to qualify each facet of the experience, connecting his lived struggle to the strands of knowledge he was so keen on spouting, and trying to mask his distress when some of the things he witnessed defied classification. Bubby tried to remain aloof, rejecting the idea that he had been bothered at all by what had happened, only allowing himself the time to shudder and falter in secret, when the other members of the team weren’t around to witness it. Tommy was the most open with his feelings on the matter, as well as the most likely to discuss his feelings with he others, and found himself somehow the most well-adjusted in regards to the incident. And Benrey…

Benrey himself, the big bad villain, returned after the fight as if nothing had happened at all, much to the distress of the Science Team, Gordon in particular. Reconciliation hadn’t been easy, but as was often the case with the Science Team, all sins were forgiven quickly, and Benrey was allowed back into their ranks with little pause for suspicion. After all, despite the hardships, he _was_ a member of the team, wasn’t he?

It was in this tenuous situation that Tommy approached Benrey in the halls at Black Mesa, the once-oppressive stage to their woes now run according to their desires, waving him down with a flourish of the hand.

“Hi, Benrey. If- If you have time, can we talk? Alone?” The nuclear specialist flashed a calm, friendly smile.

Benrey smiled more crookedly in response, still settling back into his more human appearance. “Huh? Yeah, sure, man.” He followed at a leisurely pace as Tommy stepped away from the rest of the team, leading them down the hallway to a secluded corridor, dimly lit by bare fluorescent bulbs and the strumming glow of a vending machine.

Out of instinct, Tommy smacked the machine in lieu of putting any change into it, liberating a purple can from its maw and cracking it open. “You, thirsty?” Another smack, and he offered a green can to Benrey, who took it with a grateful hum. “Good… Good. Listen.”

Benrey blinked slowly, a bit surprised. He’d seen Tommy serious a number of times, but this seemed different. “I’m listening, bro.” He watched Tommy with a careful gaze, unsure of where this would lead them.

Tipping his head back, Tommy finished his soda in one go, gripping the can and crushing it before tossing it haphazardly into a nearby trash bin. “You remember what happened during, during our big fight? When you had me trapped?”

The memory came quickly and easily to the forefront. Tommy’s cry of shock and panic, the Science Team rushing to his aid, terrified for his safety… _Let Tommy go. It’s okay._

Benrey’s lips moved of their own accord as he recalled the scene, mirroring his speech. His skeleton army had drawn back almost immediately once he spoke, and the Science Team’s reaction was one of confusion and relief. He could almost feel what they were thinking. ‘Yes, he’s a monster, but not _that_ much of a monster.’

The silence and the memory shattered as Tommy opened his mouth to speak. “I know what you really meant.”

Eyes widening and pupils shrinking, Benrey’s head whipped towards Tommy’s direction. The change in demeanor Benrey had noted before was now in full force. Tommy no longer looked like the kind-hearted, somewhat nervous scientist Benrey was used to perceiving him as. No, he looked calm, and measured, but authoritative.

Had Benrey been able to through the shock, he would have laughed. Tommy looked a lot like his father.

“The others, they- they couldn’t possibly understand.” Tommy continued calmly. “They aren’t like you, or like me, or like Dad. They’re…” He hesitated. “Human isn’t the perfect term, but they are, _raised_ in the realm of humanity. They haven’t got ties to- to the same spaces that we do. They’re like- children. Aren’t they?” He looked to Benrey. When did his eyes start glowing? “And we are like… teachers, guiding them, and keeping secrets-- secrets that children aren’t prepared to hear.”

His cadence was becoming more and more self-assured, more like his father, and Benrey felt somewhat overwhelmed. Benrey had never been intimidated by the G-Man, but hearing this from Tommy was a lot to process. “So… if you know what I meant, what _did_ I mean?”

It wasn’t that Benrey wanted to challenge Tommy like this, simply that it was his nature to dig, to pry, to coax out answers with all the emotions attached to them.

“I know that, in that very moment, you meant to have me killed. I know that it was such an- such an unthinkable desire, that even your skeleton friends couldn’t believe it.” Time around them seemed to stop, particles of dust suspended in midair. The room fell eerily silent as even the electricity racing through the wires of the building halted.

“In that moment?” Benrey looked Tommy up and down, fists clenching and unclenching. Finally, he had a name for the creeping feeling in his intestines— _unease_. “Yeah, so maybe I did. So what?” He struggled to remain casual, to maintain the version of himself he thought would always come naturally to him, to swallow down the growing anxiety and the yet-indescribable lump in his gut.

“I _know_ it’s- it’s what you wanted, in the moment. I _felt_ it. You were- you were excited, and angry, and wild. You were like… a killer whale, playing with your food and knowing what it was doing to them, but you couldn’t stop, could you?” Tommy was almost unnaturally calm. “You wanted all of us, to be with you, _forever_ , even if we had to- we had to die to be there with you.”

Benrey tensed as Tommy approached. He didn’t like this feeling at all. Why did he want Tommy to keep a distance? “I _do_ want you with me, forever, all of you.”

Wordlessly, Tommy lifted a hand, brushing his fingertips across Benrey’s temple. Benrey winced, then stilled, eyes wide as they filled with information.

_In the hell-dimension, Benrey sat with arms slack at his sides, giant body half-submerged. He was surrounded by his friends, and now they could never leave his side, just like he wanted. But how could he have ever wanted this?_

_Dr. Coomer looked like he had been the first to succumb, likely he had died defending the others, and his body lay side by side with Bubby, who even in death had his fists gripped and his teeth bared, stubborn to the last. Gordon lay closest to Benrey, the light now completely gone from his once bright eyes as he gazed listlessly, unseeing. Then, to his left, Tommy sat motionless, propped against the far wall of the chamber. Sunkist, impervious to death, lay across his lap, whimpering and gazing up into his face, unable to comprehend why she could survive but he the could not._

“Augh!” Benrey reeled back, tea-red orbs pouring from his lips as he cried out, shoving his hands against his eyes and trying to purge the imagery from his head. Mercifully, the vision dissipated as Tommy pulled his hand back towards himself, regarding Benrey with a curious, pitying expression.

“In that moment, this is what you wanted—but seeing it, you don’t want this at all, do you?” Tommy smiled, looking almost relieved. He stepped forward, wrapping his arms around Benrey and pulling him close. Benrey continued to vocalize his distress, murmuring incoherent and incomprehensible phrases as the color of his Voice shifted to the purples, reds, and yellows of a new dawn.

“Tommy… Tommy!!” Nothing else from Benrey’s mouth was understandable.

Tommy hummed quietly, singing back to Benrey gently in olive. “It’s- it’s okay. We’re friends. We always will be.” The dust in the air finally began to fall again, and the vending machine hummed back to life.

**Author's Note:**

> Sweet Voice Translation-  
> Red as Sweet Tea - I don't want to see
> 
> Dawn of Tomorrow - Overcome with sorrow
> 
> Olive - I forgive
> 
> I am surprised I didn't write a fic for this sooner but I was feeling embarrassed, lmfao. I couldn't stop thinking about this sort of scenario after the commentary vid and the moment that everyone collectively decided couldn't possibly be true. I figured "what if it was true but like, only in that moment?" Anyway this is probably super OOC but I mean, sometimes a man just needs some reconciliation between friends. Hope you enjoyed! Green means he's not mean ;;;;;


End file.
